Everything I Know about Pirates

Gr 2-5-The subtitle succinctly describes this silly book. The tongue-in-cheek humor will appeal to those who like to be grossed out by boogers, earwax, chest hair, body odor, and seagull poop. Some jokes may need to be explained to younger children: "Sometimes a pirate would refuse to use a map at all and just wander aimlessly around the ocean, refusing to even stop to ask directions. These were usually Dad pirates." A two-page "Official Pirate Glossary" reflects the mixture of fact and fiction throughout: "Buccaneer 1. A fancy French word for pirate.' 2. How much a pirate pays to get his ears pierced." This spoof is not to be confused with factual books about pirates, even though the CIP recommends a 910.4'5 Dewey classification. The cartoon-style illustrations, rendered in "ink, colored pencil, gouache, pastels, and ear wax," are large and plentiful with amusing captions. Don't walk the plank for this one.-Eunice Weech, M. L. King Elementary School, Urbana, IL Copyright 2000 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Newcomer Lichtenheld's picture book spoof of a reference on all things piratical will shiver the timbers and tickle the funnybones of those salts, both young and old, with a penchant for silliness. Waltzing through a compendium of merry myths about the terrors of the high seas, Lichtenheld sends up everything from buccaneers' wardrobes (holey boots "ventilated to prevent toe crud"; the origins of "scaredy pants") to their surly looks ("the Pirate Sneer") and their loot ("gold coins, jewelry, and high-end Japanese electronics"), all to mirthful visual accompaniment. He traces the evolution of the pirate flag (the "1620 Hot Dog and Crossbones" was an abject failure, due to the fact that it was "not very scary"), and provides a handy do-it-yourself pirate name chart (because the pirates are "not going to let you in with a name like Nathan or Ashley"). The off-the-cuff commentary maintains a rapid-fire, gag-a-minute pace that dips into the kind of crudeness certain youngsters crave (polka dots on pirates' hankie headscarves "are actually old booger stains"), and the jaunty cartoon illustrations, rendered against a parchment-like backdrop in ink, colored pencil, gouache, pastels "and ear wax," as the copyright page notes, raise the threshold for zaniness. Boisterous fun from fore to aft. Ages 4-8. (May) Copyright 2000 Publishers Weekly Used with permission.